What happens in the inn, stays in the inn
by Maladin
Summary: Aang didn't think he was doing anything wrong when he invited his friends to an expensive inn to thank them for their efforts.
1. A night at the inn

**All characters belong to Michael Dante DiMartino, Bryan Konietzko and Nickelodeon.**

**N.B. This story features no spoiler from the unaired episodes. Instead, it uses the assumption that Zuko joined the Avatar and that they later rescued Suki. Descriptions of the western air temple will be either kept to a minimum or be whatever I need them for.**

Aang couldn't be accused of any malice or negligence. He only wanted the best for his friends. That was why he had invited them to a chic inn he found, positive that they would enjoy having real food and authentic beds for once. So, of course, he didn't see anything wrong with his friends enjoying his gift. He still was slightly concerned by the copious amounts of alcohol some of his friends had ordered, but he remained sure that nothing bad would happen.

Katara had nothing to reproach herself. Her distrust of Zuko had decreased since he had helped them to break Suki out of prison. Also, it was surprisingly entertaining to watch the former prince down enough drinks for bloodbending to not be effective on him. Suki doing the very same thing worried her a little, but she understood that the past weeks in prison she suffered were trying and that she felt the need to ease her mind. Moreover, she couldn't imagine any of them drunk enough to engage each other in anything other than banter or a food fight.

One couldn't point the finger at Sokka. He, like his sister, understood that Suki could want to drown her harsh experiences in alcohol. And despite the astonishing amount of wine she downed, she didn't even stutter and seemed to be enjoying herself much more than she had in the previous days. And he was certain nothing short of brainwashing could make his girlfriend unfaithful. Moreover, he was secretly convinced that Zuko was as straight as his boomerang, so he didn't feel threatened in any way.

Toph couldn't be blamed. For anything. Ever.

It wasn't Suki's fault. Her escape from prison hadn't eased her nights; they were still haunted by nightmares answering cruelly to the questions about the fate of her fellow warriors that plagued her mind. She really thought alcohol would help her by clouding her mind, chasing the unpleasant images away, and that was why she poured herself a first glass of wine. When her mind wasn't clouded enough, she poured herself another glass. Then another. And another.

It wasn't Zuko's fault either. He had thrown his life upside down to fulfil his destiny to stop the war started by his ancestor and had betrayed his father and sister to do so. In spite of knowing he had done the right thing, his conscience refused to let him in peace. Three years at sea had taught him that liquor was a good remedy against cases of conscience, if only because of the splitting headache an overdose could cause. So he had decided to drink himself to a coma, but he turned out to be too resistant for that.

Haru couldn't possibly be held accountable for anything that happened that night. He was the drunkest of the three. Indeed, he had recently realised that nobody wrote fanfictions about him and consequently felt thoroughly depressed, and it didn't help that he perfectly knew this very story would barely feature him.

Teo held no guilt. His best friends always had been Aang, swiftly followed by Sokka and Katara, so it was with them that he discussed that evening, completely oblivious to Zuko and Suki inebriating themselves or to Haru falling asleep on the table, drooling and plastered. One should not mistake his lack of attention for lack of caring.

Blaming the Duke would require an incredible amount of bad faith. He was too young to even start to comprehend the implications of two teenagers of opposite sex being completely smashed and left alone as their friends left, two of them carrying a passed out Haru, for their rooms, confident that the remaining duo would later be safely led to their own rooms by the staff of the inn.

And it was most certainly not the waiter's fault. He hadn't been present when the Avatar's group came in, so he never witnessed the displays of affection between Sokka and Suki. As he came to their table half an hour later, he genuinely believed them to be together, more so than ever when seeing them being so comfortable with each other and chatting with such enthusiasm. Anyone not knowing them personally would have made the same mistake. He had no desire to stir trouble when he led them both to the same soundproof room where stood a full bed, and had no idea he was doing anything wrong.

As it is, it was nobody's fault.

Of course, neither Suki nor Zuko agreed.

**I would particularly like constructive comments about this multi-chaptered fanfiction, especially whether the characters are in character in spite of the humour. Speaking of which, I am very interested in learning if the humour used in this story is good. So, if you find anything you do not like, let me know.**


	2. So it wasn't the best dream I ever had

Aang had spared no expense in his gift for his friends, old and new. Granted, they had to leave all the con men and nobles of another town ruined before being able to afford the price of the high class inn, but it was worth it, not to mention that the quartet consisting of he, Katara, Sokka and Toph enjoyed cheating and ruining those people very much. Perhaps, one day, they would reveal how they really obtained the money to the rest of their friends instead of pretending that Toph used to gallivant around with countless coins, farewell gift from her parents.

The bedrooms the inn proposed were immense, each featuring magnificently carved furniture, delicately woven wall hangings and curtains, and other luxuries. The beds were breath-taking, be it because of their size, the comfort of the mattress, pillows and woven bed sheets, or the elegant carving of the bed frame.

Suki, now awake though sleepy, was positively delighted by the softness of her bed, especially that it meant she didn't have to deal with discomfort in addition to her impression that Kyoshi herself joyfully earthbent within her skull. But she didn't complain as, after all, it was the very reason she had drunk enough wine to fill a pool. Her headache would prevent her to think about the fate of her fellow warriors. It seemed the wine had also prevented nightmares, as the only dream she recalled was one of the most scrumptious kind, though it would also prevent her to look at Zuko ever again without paling and blushing at the same time.

She stretched a little under the blanket and, when her arm made contact with something warm, she realised in spite of her mind numbing headache that she was not alone in the large bed. She smiled and rolled around to face him. Eyes still closed, she softly wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, resting her head under his chin. His presence made the headache more bearable…

-

"So, how is one of our resident drunkards?"

Haru, who had walked – or rather, bumbled absently – into the canteen, paid no heed to Sokka's greeting. His tired eyes saw Aang, Katara, Sokka and Toph sitting at one table and Teo and the Duke seated at the table directly next to them. He looked around vaguely, barely noticing the other occupants of the room, scattered among the remaining tables, until his gaze landed on the breakfast bar at the centre of the gigantic room.

"Braaaiiins," he mumbled as he passed by his friends' tables.

"He said he'll never drink ever again," Katara supplied helpfully between two bites of fire flakes. Strangely, no one found Haru's word strange, as intelligible as it was. Then again, they had seen Zuko after Sokka had spiked his water with cactus juice, so the earthbender's verbal roving didn't seem so incongruous. "And that Zuko sucks."

"I rather think he'll continue to babble about otherworldly entities writing no story about him," Toph countered. "He's been weird for a few days."

"I _told_ you you shouldn't have fed those berries to him," Aang whispered to Sokka as he plunged his hand into his bowl.

"Well, _some_one had to taste them in case they were poisonous, no?" he whispered back. "And since Zuko was being chased by Katara for saying her sea prunes tasted horrible…" He ate one that Katara had given him earlier and Aang laughed nervously. "That left only Haru. Unfortunately, the berries didn't give him the insight to shave his _horrible _facial hair." He stuck his tongue out.

"Braaaiiins?" Haru enquired as he was searching for a bowl.

"He asked where Zuko and Suki were."

"They're probably in their rooms recovering from last night. They drank much more than Haru."

"Completely plastered," muttered Toph.

"Anyway, _how_ do you understand him Katara?" Sokka asked, a little jealous. It was always her who had the fancy stuff: her waterbending, her healing, now the soul of a translator…

"Feminine intuition."

"Is feminine intuition the definition for putting words in people's mouths and make them say what you want without facing the consequences of these words?" sweet little Duke asked innocently from his table, having heard the not so conspicuous discussion.

"Only in Katara's case," Sokka replied.

Then he leapt out of his chair and ran away, swiftly followed by a ticked off Katara. She shouldn't be blamed too much, Zuko's presence had given her the habit to be less forgiving of comments of that kind. It was evident that she'd have jumped on Zuko and reasoned that Sokka's comment was his sole fault had Zuko been there, but he wasn't, so she reflexively purchased Sokka. But even then, he risked nothing more than a slap since Katara couldn't water whip him without revealing their identity.

That was the reason why, instead of feeling worried for Sokka's safety, Aang, Toph, Teo and the Duke chose to laugh and chortle, Haru himself was too oblivious to notice the chase, more preoccupied by his headache and what to put in his bowl. He didn't even blink when Sokka jumped over the breakfast bar in the middle of the room, followed by Katara. His lack of attention only made the spectators of the scene laugh harder.

-

Suki sighed in contentment as she snuggled up to who she thought to be her boyfriend. She didn't want to leave this comfortable position, but she didn't want to make her friends wait for them either. She extricated herself from the bed and stood up. The movement made her slightly dizzy but she soon recovered and began hunting for her clothes, strewn everywhere in the room, including on the furniture.

"Wild night, wasn't it Sokka?" She said playfully, holding the clothes she found so far in her arms.

"Sure thing Mai," came Zuko's voice, muffled in his pillow.

Their minds were still clouded by alcohol, so it took them a few minute before registering the facts. Then Suki whirled around, dropping her clothing on the spotless floor whereas Zuko abruptly sat up in the bed.

They stared at each other, eyes wide, mouth agape, cheeks burning and head pounding, for two whole minutes before Zuko spoke up. "How about we skip the scream of horror?" he proposed uneasily.

"Okay. I have a huge headache anyway," Suki replied, as embarrassed as him and equally giddy from her sudden move.

Afterwards, they both realised the situation, namely, Suki standing naked in front of Zuko, and blushed even harder. She covered herself with her arms whereas he looked away, refusing to lay eyes on her again until she was fully clothed.

Suki then retrieved her clothes on the floor and slipped them on, casting timid glances over her shoulder at Zuko, before picking up his own clothes and flinging them to him. She turned her back to him to give him privacy as he stepped out of the bed and got himself dressed.

"What are we going to do?" she asked apprehensively as she turned around to face Zuko, now dressed. "I really don't want to hurt Sokka…"

"I don't know," was his sincere answer. "I don't want to hurt him either." _Even if he's been doing nothing except annoying me ever since I joined the Avatar_. "Or anyone else for that matter." _Though I guess we hurt each other with that night_.

"I don't want to hurt him," Suki repeated. "Should we tell him?"

Zuko thought. It wasn't an exercise he indulged in particularly often, but, even with his head pounding nightmarishly, he still managed to make the cogs of his mind work… relatively adequately. "Maybe it's better to wait until after my father is defeated. He'd be distracted if he knew, and that could be… dangerous."

Suki pursed her lips. "You're right." She sighed. "Well, I'm going to bathe. I'm sure I have some… evidence… to wash away." She looked sideways, embarrassed.

"Sorry."

"It's not your fault… or if it is, I'm at fault as well."

"Alright. I'll wait for you in the canteen."

"Alright."

Uncomfortable silence.

"…I'll go now," Suki said.

She went to the door, opened it slightly to check if there was anybody in the hall and, when it was clear there wasn't, she left the room. Several minutes later, in order to decrease the risk of someone knowing they slept in the same room and thinking of everything it implied, Zuko left as well and decided to start his search for his companions with the place where those screams came from.

-

"Remind me never to get on Katara's nerves," Teo declared as Sokka ran past him screaming with his sister on his tail. "Ever."

"Not that I want to prevent Katara to have fun," Haru started, a little less inebriated, "but it would be nice if they made less noise." He massaged his forehead and shook lightly his head before glimpsing at the other customers trying to finish their breakfast. "And I believe I'm not the only one."

"Leave it to me," Toph said with a smirk that announced nothing but calamity. She then cleared her throat and turned her head in the direction of the chase. "Heh, you two lovebirds over there, enough foreplay already!"

Sokka and Katara stopped dead in their tracks, their blood changed to ice. They stared at Toph, who was smirking in triumph, then at each other. The colour drained from their faces before an unhealthy green took residence. They twitched and then ran away from each other, Sokka jumping through a window to land in the garden and Katara disappearing in the corridors of the establishment. Both screaming in terror, of course.

As he watched Katara flee past him, Zuko, who had the misfortune to step in the room one second before Toph spoke, decided he really didn't need to hear that. Or to have such a mental image for that matter. "…Good morning," he announced hesitantly.

The rest of the team was still stunned from Toph's comment, so it was she who returned his greeting. "Had a nice night, wine head?"

Zuko blanched considerably and his heart suddenly beat faster, causing Toph to arch her eyebrows. "Yes, good night." He shook his head. "No, I meant, no, yes… I don't know!"

"…I always knew you were crazy."

Zuko sighed and walked to the table, seating where Sokka previously sat, that is next to the still shocked Aang. "And how did you sleep?"

The voice so close to Aang's ear brought him back. "Very well. And you?"

This time, Zuko managed not to pale. "Same thing, I think." He anxiously looked around and saw Suki step in, wearing the same clothes as before though she was cleaner. She walked to the table, forcing herself not to look at Zuko, and sat next to Toph.

"And you, Suki," Aang spoke, "did you sleep well?"

Unlike Zuko, Suki reddened. "Very nice night," she answered very quickly, with a nod a little too strong and a smile as fake as her voice.

Toph cocked an eyebrow.

The remaining friends finally shook themselves out of their shock and a cheerful chatter began, though Zuko and Suki took minimal part in it. After a while, the waiter who guided the two teens to the same room came to pick up the empty bowls.

"Did you like the room I led you t-" he addressed Zuko and Suki before freezing. Toph was staring at him, her face stern and serious. She put her thumb and forefinger in front of the right corner of the thin line that was her mouth before slowly moving her fingers to the other corner. There was something unsettling in a little blind girl appearing so threatening. The waiter gulped. "Did you _all_ like your rooms?" he corrected himself before anyone other than Toph noticed his first sentence.

She nodded at the man. _Smart guy_.


	3. Misunderstanding

Sokka had his flaws, he admitted as much. His inhumanely handsome body crushed self-esteems by its mere existence and distracted people to the point they couldn't notice his unsurpassed intellect, which itself designated him as the sole provider of plans and ideas of the entire group. He had his burdens, but lack of attention was not one of them. Granted, some would spitefully pretend that his vigilance could sometimes be unfavourably compared to Ty Lee's in a petting zoo, but Sokka knew such comments were spawned from unending jealousy.

It didn't take long for him to notice Suki and Zuko's strange behaviours. Alcohol could do many things, he knew, but instantly looking away each time they accidentally glimpsed at each other wasn't one of its typical effects.

Something embarrassing happened between the two, that much was certain. He'd just have to deduce from his current information what exactly happened. He recalled leaving them alone in the dinner room, completely inebriated and talking merrily. Only a handful of things could have happened from there.

Them sleeping together was immediately cast aside. Suki had demonstrated an excellent taste in boyfriends and would never lower her standards so that they fit Zuko, whom Sokka just couldn't for the love of him picture interested in the weaker sex. The staff of the inn had confirmed him they didn't have to clean the room more than what is usually necessary, so it eliminated the food fight as a source of their awkwardness.

Sokka hypothesised an instant that they bonded. He racked his brains to find possible common points they could have bonded over. They both were warriors who placed a high value on honour, though Suki was infinitely less whiny than Zuko, not that it was difficult. They also could easily be mistaken for homicidal maniacs if addressed at the wrong time; he perfectly remembered how eager Suki was to throw them back to the unagi – Sokka had always suspected she was a closet sadist. Or they could talk about their crushes. Zuko certainly was girly enough to have a girl talk with Suki… he wasn't so sure if she was, though.

Then it hit him and the colour then drained from his face. They hadn't refused to look only at each other, they also refused eye contact with him; and now he had found the reason. It was so obvious! They had talked about their crushes and Zuko revealed who he crushed on. No wonder they felt so awkward. All made sense now.

But why, oh why, why did Zuko have to be crushing on _him_? Why not Aang? He wouldn't mind after all, seeing how comfortable he was with the firebender. Or even Katara? She would most certainly not mind since it would only give her more reasons to persecute Zuko. But no, it had to be him. The universe truly got its kicks from watching him suffer.

-

Zuko angsted. And angsted. And angsted some more, just for good measure. But it wasn't the angst he was usually subscribed to. He wasn't angsting about betraying his father, nor about Azula going out of her way to make her brother a hero only to have him spit the gift back in her face. He wasn't angsting about his mother's fate either, nor about his behaviour towards his uncle. He wasn't even angsting about the comment from Sokka which pretended even Haru was manlier than him. Indeed, the cause of his current angst was precisely what rendered that last point moot.

It was bad enough that he had slept with Suki, cherished friend of the Avatar, girlfriend of that annoying boomerang-totting buffoon and former enemy. It was most definitely worse that he had actually enjoyed his time with Suki. And it really didn't help that she was better than Mai, too.

Suki, for her part, was also angsting. Of course, hers wasn't as grandiose as Zuko's, since unlike him she had only a few weeks of experience starting when Azula captured her and separated her from her friends, but still, she angsted a good deal. Zuko would be proud if he wasn't feeling a tad threatened. And she, as well, felt more guilty than ever to have enjoyed the accident so much.

They angsted so much, in fact, that their very vibrations overflowed with enough angst to jam Toph's radar. She thus decided to take the matter in her own dirty hands as soon as they came back to the western air temple.

Everyone but her dispatched to go on their business after Appa landed. She waited for a few minutes before going to Suki, who was stretching in her room to occupy her mind. She asked the warrior to meet her in a secluded room of the temple for a private discussion. Though she didn't understand why Toph didn't consider her room private enough, Suki accepted.

Toph then went to Zuko who was pacing back and forth in a courtyard, radiating pure angst. She offered him the choice to meet her at the same room or be buried under two inches of ground. Zuko wanted to change his mind and a conversation would help, even with Toph, so he accepted. Toph buried him anyways just for kicks and then proceeded to drag him by the hair in the halls of the temple, much to the witnesses' amusement or confusion.

She arrived at the desired room in front of which Suki was waiting. She grew anxious as she realised Zuko would be part of the discussion and, remembering Toph's way of locating people, had a slight hunch as to what the discussion would be about.

Toph dropped her victim in front of Suki and entered the room by its only entrance, walked to the centre of the big room and whirled around, waiting for them to enter. Suki helped Zuko up and entered the room as well, unable to hide their fastened heartbeats. Toph then sealed the entrance with earthbending.

"We've got privacy now," she stated as she dropped to the floor into a cross-legged position, swiftly imitated by the teens. "I know what happened."

Inhabited by a last shred of hope that what Toph knew wasn't related to the night at the inn, Suki chose to beat around the bush. "What do you mean?" she asked softly.

Toph rolled her eyes. "You slept together." She blew a hair strand away from her nose. "Duh."

The two guilty teenagers heaved a sigh in unison. "Yes we did," Suki confirmed, "but it was an accident, I swear!" She took particular care to never say how much she had liked that particular accident, to her conscience's agony.

"I know. You were plastered."

"How did you know?" asked Zuko.

"Interesting fact. When plastered, Haru snores. Very loudly." She massaged her ears for emphasis. "So I didn't sleep before a long time, and I felt the waiter take you to the room."

"Did you feel us having…?" Suki shyly said, flustered.

Toph grimaced. "The beds were made out of wood so I couldn't feel anyone on them but…" She stuck her tongue out an instant. "…you didn't limit yourself to the mattress." She cleared her throat while Zuko and Suki blushed and blanched at the same time, leaving their face pink.

"What do you want with us?" Zuko then enquired. He didn't know the earthbender much, but enough to know she could have quite a sadistic streak when the mood hit her. "Blackmail?"

Toph scrunched her nose. "I may be a brat and jerk, Firecrackers, but I'm no Azula."

"Okay, okay…" he conceded. "What do you want?"

"I want to help you."

Zuko's jaw dropped whereas Suki merely blinked. "Why?" she asked.

"One, because Sokka cares for you. Two, because even if we both like him – tell anyone that, Firecrackers, and I'll drown you in mud – I'm still your friend. And three, I have nothing better to do."

"…Thanks."

"And the first thing to do is to get rid of all this angst."

"But that's an important part of my character!" Zuko whined.

"My point exactly." Zuko pouted. "There's so much angst I think I can _see_ it." Toph interlaced her fingers and cracked her knuckles. "Thankfully, I have exactly what you need." She shoved one hand in her hair bun, rummaged a little, and took out an artificial beard which she had borrowed from Sokka when he wasn't looking. "Therapy!"

As she put on the beard, Suki and Zuko suddenly wondered whether the seal door was to prevent people to spy on them or to prevent them to leave.


	4. To the library!

Katara knew Sokka. She knew how his mind worked. Someone would speak and their words would accidentally enter by one ear, ask if anybody was there, be answered by an echo and then go out by the other ear, occasionally brushing against his rare nerve cells on their way out. Such was the birth of an idea in Sokka's brain. Predictably, that meant that very bad ideas could spawn if Sokka heard words he never should have.

He also had that particular tone that he used when he wanted to discuss romance, although he never realised he did. He used it after Suki kissed him on the cheek before they left her island. He used it about Yue. He used it to talk of Ty Lee after they destroyed the drill (even though, as Katara had realised, the circus freak was not coming onto him but onto _her_). He had this particular tone as well when he spoke of the Joo Dee who had welcomed them at Ba Sing Se or of a certain Madame Macmu-Ling. But he also used it to talk of romances not related to him.

So, when Sokka addressed her with this very tone to discuss about the events of this morning, Katara, who perfectly recalled Toph's horrible, horrible comment, was understandably anxious. Sokka crushing on her was one of her worst personal horrors, second only to Aang being into Zuko instead of her.

"It's about Zuko," Sokka admitted hesitantly.

Katara heaved a long sigh of relief, to Sokka's confusion. Still, some worry remained. The very idea of Zuko associating with romance was unsettling at best. He struck her as a supremely gauche and hopelessly incapable romantic interest, and she felt sorry for whichever girl became the object of his affections.

It couldn't be Suki that Zuko crushed on. While the young warrior was definitely attractive in both looks and personality, Sokka wouldn't be uneasy if Zuko liked her. He would be furious. Seeing he was not, the problem involving Zuko couldn't involve Suki.

It could be Toph, perhaps. She was Sokka's best friend and thus it was understandable that Sokka talked to her about it. But Zuko crushing on Toph wouldn't make Sokka anxious; only amused. Toph crushing on Zuko, on the other hand, was a good reason to be anxious. But she doubted it. She was certain the prince was far too whiny for Toph's taste.

That left only her as Zuko's desired maiden. That thought alone was enough to petrify her. She had feared it would happen. She perfectly remembered his talk about his mother when they both were trapped in that cave. Katara had realised that he liked his mother a little _too_ much, and it was possible that her current hair style, a Fire Nation classic, was the same as his mother's.

"I think he's crushing on me."

Worry vanished from Katara's mind and was replaced by relief and mild amusement. "Really? What makes you think that?"

"He and Suki have been weird this morning. I'm sure they talked when they were drunk and he let it slip to her," Sokka said. "Why else would they keep looking away from each other _and_ from me?"

"Maybe they slept together?" Katara ventured.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Sokka burst out laughing. "Best joke I ever heard!"

Katara chuckled. "I know!"

Sokka wiped a tear away from his eye. "Anyways. Any idea on how to get rid of him?" Katara grinned madly, evilly even. "I didn't mean it _that_ way!" Katara pouted. "So?"

"Hit back on him?" Sokka stuck his tongue out. "Sic Haru on him?" She would never admit it, but the thought of Haru and Zuko together was one of her guilty, _guilty_ pleasures.

"As flamboyant as he is… I don't think he swings that way."

"And Zuko does?" Katara crossed her arms. "Are you _sure_ he swings that way?"

"Remember when he used your necklace to find us?" Katara nodded. "He didn't even give a glance to that _smoking_ bounty hunter. He was more interested in Aang. You think _that_ is straight?"

"Point taken." She straightened her back. "I don't know what you can do. Sorry."

"Thanks anyways."

-

"And then Azula licked my cheek."

"Gross!"

There were some things she really didn't need to hear, Toph mused. Nevertheless, she was glad that Zuko and Suki got along so well. The incident could have destroyed their friendship before it even started, but it wasn't the case. It meant she couldn't torture Zuko as often as she used to, but friendship was about self sacrifice after all.

"Okay, enough about Azula's depraved ways," Toph ordered. "Zuko. Lie down on your back."

"I'm not tired."

"Either you lie down or I sink you into the floor up to your neck."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Zuko, please," Suki said.

"But I _like_ bickering with her!" He instantly covered his mouth with his hand. "Did I just say that?"

"Yep," Toph stated, smiling smugly. "Therapy is all about realising the truth and admitting it."

Zuko narrowed his eyes. "_How_ do you know so much about therapy?"

"I read books." Toph scratched her back. "Duh."

"But you're blind!" Suki and Zuko replied simultaneously.

"Nice to know that _some_one remembers!" Toph laughed. "My parents forced me to have a therapist. They wanted their little porcelain doll to feel fine. Plus, it was a sign of wealth and the Bei Fong are the biggest snobs of the planet."

"You aren't _such_ a big snob," Zuko remarked.

"Your complimenting skills are extraordinary," Toph replied dryly, before chuckling a little. "Now lie down." She earthbent the ground under his feet, making him drop like a stone on the floor though she had the decency to soften the are where his head met ground. "How do you feel about your night? And remember. I can tell if you lie."

Zuko pursed his lips and his eyes went from Toph to Suki, then to the floor. "I feel wrong," he started. "I should have been strong and confronted my conscience but nooo, I chose to be weak and ended up soiling Suki instead." He sighed. "I feel like I have disgraced my family _and_ hers. And that I made my uncle _very_ proud."

"I feel the same," Suki supplied. "Except the uncle part, of course. I also feel I shamed Kyoshi… again. I failed my friends and my boyfriend."

"Angst angst emo angst crawling in my skin angst emo emo my uncle is a perv angst crawling," was what Toph heard.

It was going to be a long day.

-

Katara had been about as useful as Zuko in his endeavour to dispose of said prince's affections, so Sokka settled for a new direction: the library. It might take him hours, days, weeks or even years, but he _would_ find a solution in these scrolls. He started with the section concerning literature written by the Avatars. Surely, one of their innumerable lives had encountered a problem akin to his current issue.

He took the first scroll in the shelf and unrolled it slightly to look at the title. 'Kama Sukka' by Kyoshi. Intrigued, he unrolled it further. After a few minutes, he rolled it back and put it in his handbag. Aang was obviously interested in the remainders of his dead culture and was bound to read some of their scrolls, and he wanted to preserve his innocence. It was most certainly _not_ for his personal use.

His hand hovered above a second scroll before his fingers closed up on it. 'How to cheat on your wife without her ever realising it' by Kuruk. Sokka was _outraged_. Faithfulness was a very important virtue in the Water Tribes and he was thoroughly disappointed that an Avatar coming from his people could have such a nerve.

He shoved the scroll in his bag, this time to protect Aang from temptation and Katara from emotional pain. He never intended to read it ever, honest.

The third scroll was, ironically enough, 'The rule of three' by Yangchen. He unrolled it and was stunned by what he found. He knew the Air Nomads were fun-loving, but that… that was unspeakable.

Horrible.

Sinful.

Kinky.

As he laid the scroll in his bag, Sokka briefly wondered if Suki was the sharing kind.

He finally found the scroll he was looking for, in the dusty form of 'How to repel the romantic assaults of a royal firebender' by Roku. Somehow, he wasn't surprised. From what Aang told them, Sozin seemed to be straight only for custom and to get heirs. Sokka figured Zuko took his flamboyance from him. A shame he wasn't related to Roku, this would have most likely prevented him the firebender to crush on him.

Not that he could blame Zuko, really. Sokka was, after all, the spirits' gift to earth. How could someone as weak-minded as Zuko resist to his perfectly toned muscles, his full sensual lips, his perfect face, his irresistible charm?

Sokka had the sudden desire to find a mirror and kiss it. He shrugged it off and put the last scroll in his handbag before leaving the library. He planned to do it with style, but Momo rushed past the door just as he stepped out of the room and the future best swordsman of the world found himself on the floor.

Irresistible charm indeed.


	5. Quick therapy

The sealed room was silent. Toph sat cross-legged a few feet away from Zuko and Suki, munching absently on one end of her moustaches and twirling the other end around her forefinger. Zuko remained on his back, staring at the ceiling and tapping his fingers together on his chest. Suki was on her knees, hands resting on her thighs, her eyes studying the old paving.

"I feel guilty."

Zuko and Toph turned their heads towards Suki. "Yeah?" Toph said, urging her to go on.

"I…" Suki bit her lower lip. "I enjoyed my night with Zuko." She looked away. "I shouldn't have. I'm with Sokka now and…"

"And there's nothing to be guilty about," Toph replied with a snort. "I'm not an expert about this kind of things – _thankfully_ – but it's lowly physical. Plus, you were completely drunk. Your body found Zuko's body attractive, that's all. No need to angst." She paused. "Not that _you_ need any reason to angst," she continued, pointing her finger at Zuko.

Toph was about to add something, but she decided Suki didn't need to know that Sokka's sword was really just a dagger.

"Did… Did you enjoy it too, Zuko?" Suki asked sheepishly, flashing a hesitant smile at him. She was curious.

Toph just rolled her eyes.

Zuko looked left, right, up, everywhere but at the two girls. "Well…"

Toph frowned. His refusal to answer could hurt Suki's feelings. She wouldn't have that. "Answer or I make Suki sit on you." She kicked him in the side.

Suki blinked in surprise. "Why?"

"Because I said so."

"I don't want to."

Toph's lips curved into a smirk. "Come on, you weren't so recalcitrant to straddle him last night."

Zuko choked on his own saliva while Suki reddened until her cheeks matched her outfit. She then smiled shyly. "I suppose not."

"Speaking of which, even if he answers, you can straddle him if you want, Mulan," Toph continued with a wink and a sly grin.

Suki's smile dissolved into a nervous laughter while Zuko finally managed to stop coughing. He shifted his stance to a cross-legged position. "You were better than my girlfriend," he confessed, looking more embarrassed than ever.

Suki raised her eyebrows. "Hm, thanks?"

"No wonder you're angsting," Toph commented. _Note to self, tell his girlfriend that as soon as I meet her_.

"Still, _please_ stop joking about our night," Zuko hissed in the most threatening way he could muster. But this is not season one anymore, so he came off as about as menacing as a purple pentapus.

Suki stifled a giggle.

"Heh, there's two ways with this pseudo-affair," Toph replied dryly. "Either you spend your life angsting about it, or you come to accept it and be comfortable with it." She crossed her arms. "And trust me, the good solution is the second one."

"How would you know?" Zuko enquired.

"Common sense? You know, the thing you never had?"

Zuko leaned his head back to look down the ridge of his nose at her. "I have common sense."

"Pictures or it didn't happen."

Suki smiled as Zuko groaned in defeat. Toph was right. She better accept the incident. Sokka would start asking questions if she kept blushing each time Toph would say innuendos only Zuko and she would catch.

Zuko was about to retort something that would earn him bodily harm when a voice resounded in the entire temple. "LUNCHTIME, KIDS!"

Toph rolled her eyes and unsealed the door. "Yes, mom," she muttered sarcastically in spite of perfectly knowing Katara couldn't hear her. "Just when I was starting to have fun, too."

-

Sokka paid no heed to his sister's vociferous blaring and continued to read Roku's scroll. He refused to approach Zuko before finding at least one way to protect himself from an unwanted suitor.

According to the first tip in the scroll, he had to make it clear to Zuko that he was straight. Sokka was about to dismiss this advice, for Zuko already knew that, until he realised it meant he could kiss Suki much more often and give him a way out if she complained. Not that she would, of course, because he couldn't imagine anyone refusing to kiss him. Still, it didn't help him about Zuko.

The second advice was specified to work only if the royal firebender lost his status, as it was purely and simply advising him to beat him up until he understood his crush was a bad idea. Sokka liked that. He'd wanted to do that ever since he kicked him in the face at the south pole.

Of course, it wasn't a sore defeat. Sokka had merely allowed the angry prince to beat him as a part of his cunning plan to save the Avatar.

Another piece of advice was a kind of corollary of the two previous tips. The scroll advised him to leave his problem to be resolved by his girlfriend. Again, it was helped if the suitor had a status inferior to said girlfriend. Sokka thought about it. Zuko being beaten was hot. Suki beating someone (other than him) was hotter. Suki wiping the floor with Zuko was hottest. Maybe he could ask Toph to throw in some mud too…

He smiled dumbly as he daydreamed furthermore, then shook himself out of his reverie and went back to the scroll. Another suggestion was to emigrate to a different nation. Sadly, he would not be able to do that before a long time, that is when Aang finally defeats the firelord.

The next pointer admitted its sinister implications. Properly get rid of him. This, so far, was Sokka's favoured solution. He didn't even have to dirty his hands, since Katara or Azula could do it for him, granted in a much more final manner with the latter. Not to mention that Zuko was clumsy enough to trip over his own feet and fall from the temple. And Aang wouldn't need him forever as a firebending teacher anyways…

No, it would be too mean. It would hurt Aang's feelings.

Sokka never understood how the very incarnation of the spirit of the planet could have such bad taste. Maybe it was pity. Perhaps Aang considered Zuko as a pet.

He shrugged and read on. The last word of advice was to make Zuko realise that he just wasn't what he was looking for.

He glanced left.

He glanced right.

He pulled his trousers open and glanced down.

…He'd use it only as a last resort.

-

Aang had seen many horrible things in his short life. The skeleton of Gyatso, his surrogate father, within an abandoned building of the southern air temple. The siege of the northern Water Tribe. The horrible hairstyle Zuko used to sport when he chased him all across the world. The even worse hairstyle he had now. Zhao's sideburns. Toph just after she woke up. And her manners. Sokka in his underwear. Or Long Feng in his underwear, for that matter. And Koh. He couldn't forget Koh. And many other horrific sights.

But what he was forced to witness now left him speechless and prevented him to savour the meal Katara lovingly concocted for them (but especially for him). Teo and Haru were equally stunned. Katara had the luck to be looking for Sokka to bring him back screaming and kicking to the courtyard where they eating.

The Duke giggled and tugged at Toph's beard. "I always knew you were a man, unclie Toph!"

"I had the feeling I forgot something…" Toph muttered as she clipped the beard off and put it back in her hair bun, to Aang, Teo and Haru's sheer confusion. The Duke just giggled more.

Nevertheless, Aang could finally eat in peace. "Anyways, what were you guys doing?"

"Training."

"Angsting."

"Reading PlayMonk."

Everyone but the Duke stared at Toph.

"What?"

She then took a bowl, dropped to the floor and started to eat her noodles. Suki and Zuko swiftly imitated her and sat besides her. The others just shrugged at Toph's antics and just figured that Toph had tasted some berries.

After a while, Katara came back, followed by Sokka who protested he didn't finish to read. As his sister sat besides Aang, he realised with horror that the only place left was besides none other than Zuko. He groaned inwardly and sat down. He grumbled some more as he chewed up his food until something grabbed a certain part of his anatomy that he usually reserved for seating.

He turned his head to the right and saw only the Duke making funny faces, both hands busy passing off a noodle as moustaches. Sokka grimaced as he understood who the hand belonged to.

Therefore, he decided to discreetly leave the courtyard with his bowl. As discreetly as someone with a white face and who tripped over his own feet as he left could, in any case.

Zuko stared at his hand, flabbergasted and slightly disgusted.

Suki tilted her head in incomprehension.

Katara smiled innocently and mused that bloodbending wasn't such a curse after all.

Toph picked her nose with her toe.

Aang started to miss season one.


	6. Aangst

After the strange events of lunch, most of the group found it safer to vacate the courtyard to go finish their meals in their rooms or any other hideout sharing the same relative security

After the strange events of lunch, most of the group found it safer to vacate the courtyard to go finish their meals in their rooms or any other hideout sharing the same relative security. Aang, for his part, was off strolling in the halls of the abandoned temple. No, he was not angsting – angst was for losers. He was aangsting, which was exactly like angsting except for one subtle, but final, nuance: it was done with _style_.

Aang had noticed what caused Sokka to leave the scene. Like Sokka, he had his flaws and his reasoning could sometimes make Zuko look actually smart but, again like Sokka, he wasn't blind to what was going on around him. And he couldn't dislodge this judgement from his mind: it was better before.

Before his friends talked about nothing but the new additions to the group, Zuko and Suki. Before there was a failed invasion and close ones stuck in prison. Before Katara lost even more of her innocence by becoming a bloodbender. Before Sokka was obsessed with swords and spent two days alone and unsupervised at some old, lonely and probably perverted master's private house. Before he had lost the Avatar State and was intimately introduced to a lightning.

He sorely missed those times, back when he didn't know there was someone so insecure with his masculinity that he brainwashed rows after rows of women. Back when he didn't have to drink onion-and-banana juice given by some creepy guru. Back when Toph wasn't there and didn't rub off on Katara. Back when there wasn't a trio of psycho lesbians trying to capture him. Back when the oneshot characters remained oneshot characters instead of turning into additional luggage.

Back when it was only him, Appa, Momo, Sokka, Katara and a handsome scarred prince whom Aang convinced himself to be interested in the Avatar and the Avatar only. (There was also an angry firebending monkey, he grudgingly admitted, but he at least had the decency to show up rarely.)

Yes, that was the main reason to his angst – sorry, aangst. He'd discovered that the one Zuko was really after was not him, but Sokka. It broke his heart. He was ecstatic when Zuko decided to join his team, especially after being told about the relationship between, Sozin and Roku, but now his morale was about as high as Azula's seduction; underground.

Aang sighed dejectedly as he kicked off dust on the ground. It wasn't fair. Sokka wasn't the one who made Zuko a bed of leaves after being saved from Zhao's hairy clutches. He was the one who wanted to leave him to freeze to death in the north pole. So why did Zuko choose him?

"Wait, Sokka!"

"Get away from me!"

Aang turned his head to see Sokka and Zuko into _another_ courtyard. Just his luck. He would have to witness Zuko's speech of undying love for Sokka. He shouldn't watch for it wouldn't fail to hurt him more, yet he decided to watch anyways. He always was a little masochistic (he, after all, accepted to train with Toph), o he laid low and listened out.

"Why did you grope me?" Sokka demanded, furious. He was furious that Zuko grabbed his butt, but also that _Suki_ never did it. "That was totally uncalled for!"

"I couldn't help it!"

It wasn't very reassuring. But at the same time, it confirmed Sokka his awesomeness, so it wasn't entirely horrible. "Riiight."

"It's true! I couldn't control my body!" Sokka merely cocked an eyebrow while looking haughtily at him. "Really, if I wanted to grope someone who was sitting next to me, I would have chosen Suki."

Zuko immediately covered his mouth with his hand (quite a prowess considering he had just put his foot in it) whereas Sokka's eyes narrowed to slits and grasped the hilt of his seathed sword.

"Wait! I didn't mean…" Zuko stuttered, taking a step back.

"Don't approach Suki," Sokka hissed, actually looking threatening for the first time of his life. "Your family hurt her already enough."

Zuko glanced nervously right and left. "It was just an exemple! I… I'd have said the same thing if… err… Katara was besides me!" Sokka growled slightly and took a step towards him. "Bad exemple, bad example!" Zuko stepped back furthermore. "I would have chosen Haru over you!"

"Man, that just hurt," Sokka said, loosening his grip over his sword.

"Sorry," Zuko replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. He then realised that, for a brief instant, Sokka was less prone to skewer him. "I swear, it wasn't my intent! I'm not into you!"

Sokka still wasn't convinced.

Aang wiped his forehead in relief. '_Phew'_.

And then Zuko jumped on Sokka, wrapped his arms around him and their lips met.

Aang's eyes almost rocketed out of their sockets and his jaw dropped.

Sokka's brain ceased to function.

Zuko let go of Sokka, looked at him, covered his mouth with both hands and ran away.

Katara giggled madly from behind a pillar and rubbed her hands together.

-

It didn't happen. It just couldn't have happened. He was straight, completely straight, his (not very spectacular and quite boring) nights with Mai and his (very much spectacular and acrobatic) night with Suki proved that. He couldn't have kissed Sokka. It was impossible.

Zuko continued to run like a headless pig chicken. Why did his body betray him? Couldn't it at least have the good taste to choose Suki? Or even, spirits forbid, Katara or Toph?

Maybe, just maybe, his body was telling him he indeed liked Sokka, and that his mind was into girls only because he was surrounded by girls during all his youth. Was he in love with Sokka?

His train of thought was cut short when he crashed heavily into someone.

"You know, Firecrackers, for someone who says he's not into Mulan, you sure spend much time glued to her body."

Zuko groggily got back on his feet and helped Suki up, earning a dazed thanks. "I… I kissed Sokka!"

Toph stuck her tongue out. She wasn't like Katara; didn't care much for shonen ai.

"You kissed my boyfriend?" Suki mentally slapped herself; she shouldn't feel excited!

"Yeah!" Zuko dropped to a sitting position. "My body jumped on him and I couldn't do anything!" he croaked.

Toph stroked her chin as Suki patted Zuko's back. It sounded like Katara's bloodbending. She mused that her slight sadism rubbed off on the waterbender. Should she tell Zuko that? On one hand, Katara was her friend and had a right to amuse herself, especially at the expense of Zuko. On the other hand, this kind of jokes could break relationships if she wasn't careful. Moreover, she had decided that Zuko was _her_ territory.

"I believe it's Katara's fault."

Suki spoke up, "Toph, I know that you didn't like Katara scolding you for eating with your feet but-"

"No, no, I mean it. She learned to bend the water in people's blood thanks to some crazy old woman."

"I knew women were crazy," Zuko muttered. He received a tap on the head from Suki.

"Anyways…" Toph smirked. "Wanna take her at her own game?"

"There's no way I'll kiss her."

"Oh, don't worry. You're not the one I had in mind."

Suki grimaced and stared at Toph. "You don't mean…" Toph nodded with a grin. "I don't want to…"

"See it as protecting your boyfriend's feelings."

Suki rubbed her arm. "Still… I'm embarrassed…"

"Come on, you're a Kyoshi warrior. You shouldn't be embarrassed at all."

Zuko raised his eyebrows and looked up at Toph, then at Suki. "What do you mean?"

Toph just smirked again.

Suki glimpsed at Zuko.

She glanced up and down.

She cleared her throat.

"I… kissed a girl once." She blushed a little.

Zuko looked at her in shock and surprise, mouth agape.

Toph raised an expectant eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, more than once!"

Zuko's mind was suddenly full of pleasant images.

"But I don't want to kiss Katara…" Suki trailed off.

"Oh, just think she's that girl you kissed." Toph then had the very vivid mental image of Suki making out passionately with Katara. "Not _too_ much, though."

-

Katara giggled some more as she recalled Sokka staring absently in front of him, his face distorted into an expression of pure terror. It had been a long time since she didn't get such a laugh. The last weeks had been particularly dark for all of them and her brain had decided to break the habit and have some fun for once. She realised it wasn't very nice, but she couldn't help it. The pressure had been too much.

She was now practicing her bending, once again in the pool. Maybe she could bloodbend two people at once in a complicated and elaborate manner instead of just preventing them to run through each other; if so, she looked forward to Zuko and Haru being in the same room, close to each other…

She smiled like the yaoi fangirl she was and nearly didn't notice Suki entering the room from the corner of her eye, too preoccupied by the _wonderful_ pictures her mind was weaving. "Hi Suki," she purred, still in her world.

_'Okay, I'm crept out,'_ was Suki's understandable reaction. She hoped Toph's plan wouldn't backfire – she really, _really_ didn't want Katara to crush on her. "Hm, real nice waterbending you're doing there."

Katara shook herself off her entertaining thoughts. "Thanks."

"Mind if I watch?" Suki asked, a big, forced smile on her face.

"If you wish."

She went back to bending a stream of water into a circle and Suki watched on. She tugged the collar of her shirt and took a step towards Katara. She swallowed the lump in her throat and took another step. Katara didn't mind, too focused on her bending. Suki stretched into a seductive pose besides the waterbender, but she remained oblivious. Suki somewhat preferred it that way.

"You look tired," Suki ventured.

"I don't feel tired."

Suki clenched her teeth and hid it with a smile. "The last days have been trying. Care for a massage?" Her teeth threatened to crack.

Katara chose not to argue further and sat on the edge of the pool. Suki dropped to her knees behind her and began to work on her shoulders. She was used to it; the warriors of Kyoshi often massaged each other in turn after long hours of hard training… though sometimes it involved nuzzling as well, she recalled with a nostalgic smile and a faint blush.

She lowered her hands and began to massage Katara's back, earning a sigh of contentment. Then she recalled her mission and, little by little, rubbed towards her chest.

A soft shudder ran through Katara's body. "…Suki?"

Suki leaned her head on Katara's shoulder and whispered, "did I ever tell you I thought you were very pretty?"

The shudder intensified. "Do you feel well?" Katara asked after a nervous laugh.

"Yes." Suki breathed on her neck and slipped the end of her fingers under Katara's tank top. "Do _you_?"

Katara rose abruptly, leaving all contact with Suki's hands. "Oh, what do you know!" she said overenthusiastically. "I just heard Aang asking for help to… hm… lace his shoes! Bye bye!" With that she walked rapidly towards the door, bearing a huge, forced grin and never looking away from Suki until she left the courtyard.

Suki scrunched her nose, closed her eyes and plunged her hands in the pool, planning to rinse them thoroughly.


	7. The end

"You know," Zuko commented as he watched Katara's retreat from their hiding place, "if you wanted to frighten Katara, you could have done that _yourself_."

"Of course," Toph answered with a satisfied smirk, "but then I wouldn't have as much fun." _Besides, I suspect she'd have __**liked**__ it if it was me_.

That was when Zuko finally heard that little voice that kept screaming in his head since Toph proposed to help. _You're __**screwed**__, moron!_

The following days, of course, proved that voice right. By the end of the week, Suki knew Katara's body by heart and her hands were discoloured after washing them too much. For his part, Zuko could now tell Sokka's mood by the taste of his lips alone. Or rather he used to, as brushing vigorously his tongue after each and every prank of Katara caused his taste buds to wither and die.

Now, the rational thing to do would have been to tell Sokka and the others about the night that started most of the trouble, Toph's reaction for shortening her fun be damned. After all, their primary reason to not put their friends (or vague equivalents) in the confidence was to prevent them to be distracted during the battle against Ozai, a reason which was now obsolete as everyone's mind was pretty much as distracted, confused, terrified or all of the above as was humanly possible.

That Zuko's defective brain didn't even conceive the mere idea of the good solution wasn't surprising. As a matter of fact, it was actually expected. The problem laid in the fact that Suki didn't get this idea either. But it's not really her fault so she shouldn't be blamed too much.

Zuko's stupidity, it turns out, is contagious. It's especially transmittable during intimate moments, which explains why Suki was contaminated and the rest of the gaang wasn't; they didn't spend enough time around Zuko yet. But, you say, Azula and company don't seem too stupid, Ty Lee excepted, in spite of spending much more time with Zuko than Suki did. And you're right. But, you see, they were exposed to Zuko only when he was a little dork, while Suki was stuck with him after he spent three years perfecting the fine art of idiocy. Azula, Mai and others were vaccinated, Suki wasn't. As simple as that.

Therefore, when Zuko proposed to defeat Ozai by themselves so that they wouldn't have to deal with Toph and Katara's doubtful sense of humour, Suki said yes and they both left the temple in the middle of the night.

Somewhere in the Earth Kingdom, a princess passing off as a restaurant owner smacked her forehead. _My son is an __**idiot**__._

-

A little voice in Suki's head gnawed at her while Zuko busied himself with making the war balloon take off, pretending he could fail boiling water with spectacular and pyrotechnic results, but this voice shut up when the former prince managed to make the airship soar to the skies.

"So… any plan to defeat your father?"

"We need to get close to him… Maybe as royal guards, or servants, or…"

"Or?"

"Concubines could work too, though I never heard of him asking for any."

Suki almost smacked Zuko. "One member of the Fire Nation knowing every part of my body is enough, thank you very much!" She crossed her arms and turned her back to him. "I really don't want an old pervert ogling me."

Zuko looked away and rubbed the nape of his neck. "Reminds you should be very thankful my uncle didn't follow me when I attacked your island…"

Suki turned her head to see him from the corner of her eye. "And it reminds me I still have to kick your ass for that."

Zuko smacked his hand in the palm of his other hand. "That's it!"

Suki whirled around. "Uh?"

"You're gonna kick my ass!"

"You know, I don't hate you so much anymore…"

"No, I mean, that's how we'll get close to my father!"

Suki blinked twice. "I don't follow."

"You'll kick my ass and he'll think you're one of his followers! You even wear Fire Nation clothes!"

"That's… risky."

"Do you have a better idea?"

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Suki didn't.

-

Zuko landed in a clearing of a dense forest, to Suki's surprise. "Shouldn't we go to the palace?" she asked as she stepped out of the war balloon.

"Yeah, but first I want to see if he's there. It's his personal summer house," Zuko replied, looking at the surroundings.

"I was thinking…" Suki said, changing the subject, "what exactly will we do once we get close to Ozai? I couldn't even defeat you," she admitted, "I can't hope to beat the best firebender of the world."

Zuko shoved his hand in his shirt and took out a little bottle. "I just so happen to have this."

"What is it?"

"It's something the servants taught me to do. Azula gets meaner once every month and they slip it in her drink to prevent her to burn the whole palace. It's a potion against firebending."

"Convenient," she commented dryly.

"I know." He put the vial back in Suki's hand, who in turn swiftly pocketed it. "Let's go, I think it's this way."

They walked under the foliage for many minutes until they stumbled upon a well-kept garden surrounding a superb house made in the finest Fire Nation style. They lost no time and stealthily approached the building until they heard noises proving it was inhabited.

"Was that a giggle?" Suki asked softly as she hid behind a bush close to a wall with a closed paper window. "Please tell me your father's not a giggling maniac."

"I guess he _did _ask for a concubine…" Zuko shook his head. "Couldn't you tell it was a woman's giggle?

"Yes, but I never knew Ozai personally and seeing how girly _you_ are, it was entirely possible your father giggles like a _girl_."

Very much incensed at this attack towards his and his father's masculinity, Zuko's reply was a little louder than what was required for stealth. "Coming from the girl who needs makeup to actually look like a _girl_."

"You didn't complain when we fu-"

"What's going on?!" came a booming voice from the interior of the room.

Zuko and Suki froze, until Suki did the first thing coming to her mind: enacting the plan. She clasped Zuko's shirt and threw him through the window before jumping in, running Zuko who was sprawled groggily on the floor and punching him with reckless abandon.

She had to confess, it felt _good_.

"…What's going on?" Ozai repeated, slightly confused and surprised.

It was only then that Suki dared to glance at the speaking man. She realised she was in a large sauna, where the firelord was immerged up to his waist in the pool, with a beautiful woman sitting leisurely against the edge of the pool not far from him.

_Don't stand up don't stand up don't stand up don't stand up don't stand-crap he stood up_.

Thankfully for the teenage duo, he wore swimwear.

"He was spying on you!" Suki ventured, pointing a finger at Zuko.

Ozai was considerably sceptical. "And what were _you_ doing, young woman?"

Suki gulped. "Err…" Improvisation was not her strong point.

"Why are your hands discoloured?"

"Well…"

"And what did you say before throwing him in? He didn't complain when you fu-"

Suki jumped on Ozai and hugged him, crying fake tears. "He seduced me to do his bidding!"

"Really?" The firelord stroked his chin. "So he's not so worthless…" Suki looked at him, half surprised. "I mean, bad, _bad_ Zuko." He cleared his throat. "Congratulations for stopping this criminal, hm…"

"Zuki."

"Congratulations, Zuki." The woman then swam to Ozai and stood up, whispering in his ear. "Oh, good idea Ming. Very good idea…" He smirked, Suki found herself a little less confidant. "Why don't you… stay with us?"

Suki swallowed a lump bigger than Ozai's ego as she understood their intentions. "Could I drink before? Beating this traitor made me thirsty…" she attempted, hoping they would feel the need to drink as well.

"Why not." Ozai looked at Ming and she nodded. "The drinks are in the room just besides the sauna, there." He extended his arm towards a door. "Drop Zuko there while you're at it. There just so happens to have ropes there too."

"Why?" Suki dared to ask.

"It's for Ming."

Suki decided to leave immediately to the indicated room, not wanting to delve into Ozai and Ming's bondage fantasies.

"Don't forget the potion…" a bruised Zuko cued Suki as she tied him up loosely enough for him to be able to escape on his own. "You can't hope to defeat him without it."

Suki slapped him loudly.

"Why did you do that? It's true!"

"I know, but that way he really thinks I'm your enemy." _Oh, and that felt good, too_.

She then took a tray, three glasses, a bottle of wine (which gave her very goo-_bad_ memories as she glimpsed at Zuko) inside which she poured the potion, plus some spare ropes and left the room to attend to Ozai and Ming.

"You brought ropes! What a good idea!"

Zuko listened carefully as he struggled out of his bonds. He heard casual chatter for a few minutes, then a thundering crash and a splash, both of which sounded mute compared to what followed.

Then, silence. Zuko was worried until Suki walked in, brushing dust off her hands.

"Done," she said solemnly. "I drowned him."

Mourning a little despite the circumstances, Zuko stood up. "And Ming?"

"I knocked her out, tied her up and gagged her with her bra. She was, predictably, a much easier foe than your father." She looked around. "Let's go, we have nothing more to do here."

-

"Suki! I was worried you wouldn't come back!" Sokka cried as she jumped in her arms from the war balloon. "I was worried you'd come back," he then said to Zuko, who just glared. "…Why are your hands discoloured?"

"I… will tell you later."

"We were worried too…" Katara added uneasily, perfectly remembering the little treks Suki's hands took on her body. "Even Toph."

"Suki left?"

"Hush."

"You won't have to worry about my father anymore," Zuko said.

"No way," Toph said. "I'm impressed. Who knew you'd show some bal-"

"Suki did it."

"Figures." Toph was understandably disappointed.

"You killed Ozai?" Aang blurted out, completely taken aback. "But that was my job!"

"I know, but-"

"You refused to kill your father on the day of black sun so that I could get him myself!"

"Wimp," Katara coughed.

"What?!"

"I called you a wimp, Wimpko."

"I just wanted to say thanks," Aang pointed out, unheard by the firebender and waterbender who decided to spend the rest of the day arguing. "Never mind."

"There's something I need to tell you…" Suki said to Sokka as she led him away from the group.

"This is gonna be good!" Toph whispered as she diverted her attention from the fight that broke out between Zuko and Katara. It was their way to deal with stress. A way Toph entirely agreed with, naturally.

"You remember that night at the inn?"

"Of course. You and Zuko were smashed." He laughed. "It was funny." When Suki didn't glare at him but instead looked down, he realised there was something amiss. "What's the problem?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"Yes, we were drunk and… we slept together."

Sokka choked on his breath and Toph giggled. "What?!"

"I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?"

Sokka stayed silent for a moment. "Of course."

Suki was thankful but a little nervous. "Do you forgive Zuko?"

"Hm… Can I really blame him to fall with the most beautiful woman on earth?" he answered smoothly. "I bet he's better than me," he then groaned under his breath.

"Thank you Sokka."

She hugged him.

"There's one last thing you need to know."

"I have the best girlfriend I could wish for?"

"I'm pregnant."


End file.
